Introduction to Me

Okay, seriously people, I need some junk in my trunk in a big way!  There's nothing back there and I kind of blame J Lo for taking my share.  Does Spanks make an addition with booty enhancers? 

SPANKS, call me and I'll put you in my blog. 

I've even talked to my super rich sister about financing booty augmentation, but at $7,000 her husband laughed and said he'd "buy me a puppy and a six foot body pillow from Costco with a silk pillowcase if I was that desperate"...meanies!  "I was gonna take care of you guys when your old and gray (and meaner)", I snapped. 

So I've decided to take matters into my own hands (and the talented hands of a back-room hack who specializes in this type of thing.)  It'll only set me back $500 and I'll be back under the disco lights by tomorrow night.  I could really use $500 right now or even a new pair of size 22 Spanks.  Your choice!

P.S. Until then I'm going the cheap inexpensive D.I.Y. route and $ave five hundred buck$. Sweeeeeet!

You'll Need:
1. Neighbors Old Moss Covered Couch (the one sitting on their curb for months.)
2. Other Neighbor's Wedding-Gifted Electric Craving Knife (don't make any promises)
3. 1 pr. Strong, Snug-Fitting, Tights or Panty Hose

Directions:
The cheapest form of hip and buttock padding is homemade.
Homemade padding is usually made by cutting a block of high-density polyurethane foam rubber to shape. This is the same type of foam as used for upholstery.

The most common tool used for shaping the foam is an electric knife.


The block is usually cut as a flat piece which is wrapped around the hips and buttocks, rather than being carved as a curved piece. The foam is carved only on the inside, so that the outside surface remains smooth.

The padding is usually worn inside a compression garment such as one intended to be worn by females to lift and shape the buttocks. Hope this helps!

Tweet us your completed project photos so we can post.

Cheers! XO